Labour
Step 1: Desire a partner Step 2: Do nothing Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit i.e. – receive a partner This is the absurdly optimistic algorithm of romance created by […]
Tag Archives: the dating game
Tribalism
Imagine the following scenario: You have arranged to go for a bike ride with a woman from an online dating site. The date was organised on the back of a […]
Methodology
Indiscriminately swipe right. This is how a prudent person would approach Tinder. Of all the women in your designated catchment area, only a few will find you tolerably attractive. Even […]
Beauty
“I see the girls walk by; dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.” It’s autumn and she’s seated on a train, but […]
Money
“Why do you want this job?” “I need a girlfriend.” I’m at a crucial juncture in my life. I’ve just completed a Masters degree in a useless subject and now […]
Therapy
“I’m not going to teach you how to pick up women,” she mutters in a dour Scottish accent. I can feel her eyes judging me, but I gather that’s why […]
Equality
“Getting a tactical nuke on Call of Duty is the best feeling in life. Much better than having sex. Probably.” The above joke is predicated on the popular stereotype of […]
Suicide
“I went to a shrink, to analyse my dreams She says it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down.” So go the lyrics of Green Day’s hit song Basket Case. […]
Sensitivity
Words are coming out of my mouth, but they seem detached. The effluent flows uncontrollably into the swarming background fuzz. I could, like Deepak Chopra or someone whose diet consisted […]
Numbers Game
Whether or not you’re a hipster, you’ve probably heard of Robert M. Pirsig’s bestseller Zen and the Art Motorcycle Maintenance. It’s a story about a father and son who take […]
Confessions of a neurotic dater 