Contradiction
“I’m 27 years old, never had a girlfriend. I feel suicidal.” “Love will find you when you’re not looking for it,” she replies. “I spend my time indoors… wanking – […]
Tag Archives: neurotic
Labour
Step 1: Desire a partner Step 2: Do nothing Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit i.e. – receive a partner This is the absurdly optimistic algorithm of romance created by […]
Beauty
“I see the girls walk by; dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.” It’s autumn and she’s seated on a train, but […]
Money
“Why do you want this job?” “I need a girlfriend.” I’m at a crucial juncture in my life. I’ve just completed a Masters degree in a useless subject and now […]
Numbers Game
Whether or not you’re a hipster, you’ve probably heard of Robert M. Pirsig’s bestseller Zen and the Art Motorcycle Maintenance. It’s a story about a father and son who take […]
Impotence
In October 2012, the Canadian Senate approved a bill to allow the cull of 70,000 grey seals in the Gulf of St. Lawrence. The intention of the cull was to […]
5 Reasons Pornos are like Martial Arts Films
My foray into reductive, click-bait, list type articles on Buzzfeed was short-lived. Oh well, here’s my article that, for some reason, didn’t get to the front page. 1. The plots are […]
Profile (Part I)
Unfortunately, the privacy of this blog was drunkenly violated by a colleague of mine who I can only refer to as Edward B. No, wait, that’s too obvious. How about […]
Prologue
My relationship with women has been much like my relationship with the Reading Rooms at the British library, in that my attempts to be inside them continue to be unsuccessful. […]
Confessions of a neurotic dater 